All Stories Matter - Dean & Gabriela Suárez-Starfeldt of the Koa Fund Part 2

Updated 3 days ago

Gabriela and Dean Suárez-Stareldt joined Marvinetta for part 2 of their "All Stories Matter" conversation. Threading all the ebbs and flows was their daughter, Koa – her eye of beauty for everything, everywhere, all at once – combined with a contrast which led to the family trauma. Dean and Gabriela discussed many moments of serendipity and of conditional love. This episode is a great reminder to stop, breathe, pay attention and experience awe in the wonders all around us.

Chapters

Introduction and Host's Message (00:00:15)
Marvinetta Woodley Penn introduces herself and the podcast, emphasizing the importance of storytelling and how every individual's story matters.

The host, Marvinetta Woodley Penn, greets the audience, introducing herself and the premise of her podcast, 'All Stories Matter Now'. She discusses the significance of personal stories and the importance of sharing them with others.
Purpose of the Podcast (00:00:39)
The host explains her motivation for starting the podcast: to highlight the unique episodes in people's lives and encourage storytelling.

Marvinetta explains that she started the podcast to showcase the unique narratives everyone possesses. She stresses the importance of recognizing and sharing the episodes and moments that form our personal stories and encourages listeners to tell their stories.
Introduction of Guests (00:01:04)
The host introduces her guests, Gabi and Dean, who will share their personal story about their family and their daughter.

Marvinetta introduces her guests, Gabi and Dean, who are here to continue sharing their story from a previous episode. She expresses excitement about the interesting and touching narrative involving their family and daughter, which necessitated a follow-up discussion.
Continuation from Part One (00:01:32)
Gabi and Dean continue their story from a previous podcast episode, focusing on their family's experiences and the establishment of the COA fund.

Gabi and Dean pick up from where they left off, discussing the continuation of their story. They talk about the previous episode where they began sharing their experiences and express the need to delve deeper into their journey and the establishment of the COA fund.
The COA Fund Beginnings (00:02:06)
Dean shares how the COA fund was conceived out of tragedy and trauma, with a focus on healing and carrying forward a legacy.

Dean discusses the origins of the COA fund, which was inspired by their daughter's legacy. He recounts their time in the hospital and their initial thoughts on creating something meaningful that would engage children in activities related to art and social justice, reflecting their daughter's passions.
The Sunrise Gathering (00:04:11)
Gabi and Dean talk about the Sunrise Gathering, an event they created to celebrate life and defy darkness, inspired by their daughter's appreciation for sunsets.

Gabi and Dean describe the Sunrise Gathering, an event held in December near the solstice as a celebration of life and light. They explain the significance of the event, inspired by their daughter's love for sunsets and her perspective on the beauty that often goes unnoticed.
The Significance of the Sunrise Gathering (00:06:08)
The Sunrise Gathering is explained as a celebration of life, focusing on the light amidst darkness, inspired by their daughter's appreciation of daily sunsets.

Dean elaborates on the importance of the Sunrise Gathering, held during the darkest time of the year as a symbol of light in defiance of darkness. He shares a story of a sunset their daughter admired, which inspired the event's name and purpose, emphasizing presence and appreciation of beauty.
Description of the Event's Atmosphere (00:07:11)
Gabi and Dean describe the joyful and interactive nature of the Sunrise Gathering, inviting attendees to dress as a sunrise and celebrate through various activities.

The Sunrise Gathering is portrayed as a vibrant and interactive festival where guests are invited to dress in their interpretation of a sunrise. The event includes storytelling, artwork, and food, all reflecting their daughter's creativity and spirit, culminating in a joyful communal dance.
The Role of the COA Fund (00:08:18)
Gabi and Dean discuss the COA Fund's role as a donor-advised fund, supporting charities aligned with their daughter's legacy through events like the Sunrise Gathering.

The COA Fund is described as a donor-advised fund that raises money to support charities consistent with their daughter's interests. Gabi and Dean explain how the Sunrise Gathering has become a key fundraising event, highlighting the fund's mission to celebrate life and promote healing.
Art and Activities at the Sunrise Gathering (00:10:14)
Gabi and Dean highlight the various artistic and participatory activities at the Sunrise Gathering, including origami and displays of their daughter's artwork.

The Sunrise Gathering features a range of activities that invite participation and reflection. Gabi and Dean describe the inclusion of their daughter's artwork, origami, and storytelling, designed to bring people together in a celebration of creativity and shared experiences.
Community and Participation (00:12:03)
The hosts emphasize the participatory nature of the events, inviting community engagement and highlighting the personal stories shared by attendees.

Gabi and Dean stress the importance of community involvement in the Sunrise Gathering, encouraging attendees to share their own stories of bravery and participate in creative expressions, thereby fostering a collective healing experience.
Philosophy of Healing and Storytelling (00:14:28)
The hosts reflect on the philosophy behind their events, emphasizing authentic storytelling and the healing power of sharing personal narratives.

Marvinetta and her guests discuss the power of storytelling as a means of healing. They express that their events are not prescriptive but rather provide a space for sharing experiences, allowing participants to find resonance and healing through authentic stories.
The COA Place Concept (00:16:18)
Gabi and Dean introduce the concept of the COA Place, a living, breathing space that embodies their daughter's essence through art and community interaction.

The COA Place is described as a dynamic space that reflects their daughter's creative spirit. It is a place where art and community converge, allowing participants to engage with installations and contribute to a collective expression of memory and celebration.
Art Installations and Community Interaction (00:18:12)
The hosts describe the large-scale art installations at the Sunrise Gathering, designed to invite community interaction and reflect their daughter's interests.

Gabi and Dean discuss the impressive art installations at the Sunrise Gathering, crafted by local artists to inspire and engage the community. These installations serve as a focal point for interaction, encouraging attendees to contribute their own expressions of bravery and creativity.
Interactive Storytelling and Performances (00:20:01)
The event features interactive storytelling and performances where participants share personal stories of bravery through various artistic forms.

The Sunrise Gathering includes a segment where attendees are invited to share their own stories of bravery, expressed through spoken word, poetry, music, and performance. This participatory element enhances the communal atmosphere and celebrates diverse narratives.
The Role of Reiki and Personal Healing (00:22:04)
A personal story about the role of Reiki in the healing process is shared, illustrating alternative therapeutic approaches to trauma and grief.

Gabi and Dean share a personal story about exploring Reiki as a form of healing following their daughter's passing. They discuss the impact of this energy work on their emotional well-being and how it contributed to their journey of grief and recovery.
Relaxing Before Departure (00:29:13)
A relaxing massage session before heading to the airport leads to an unexpected and profound experience.

The speaker describes preparing for a trip back to Mendoza by relaxing on a table, engaging in a massage session meant to provide comfort. They express openness to the experience, pondering the potential outcomes of relaxing deeply.
A Transformative Experience (00:29:39)
The massage session becomes a deeply transformative experience, with sensations of sinking into the table.

As the session progresses, the speaker describes how the massage leads them into a deeply relaxed state, akin to the feeling of Shavasana in yoga. A voice inside encourages deeper relaxation, resulting in the sensation of merging with the table.
Vivid Vision and Unusual Clarity (00:31:00)
Post-session, the speaker experiences an unusual clarity of vision, noticing intricate details on the ceiling.

After the session ends, while lying on the table, the speaker opens their eyes and notices the ceiling's detailed texture with surprising clarity, a vision they doubt their eyes should naturally possess.
Visions of Joy (00:32:24)
The speaker sees joyful images of Koa floating between them and the ceiling, resembling animated gifs.

The speaker describes seeing images of Koa, full of joy and laughter, floating in the air. These images are vivid and animated, yet silent, filling the room with a sense of immense joy.
A Spiritual Visit (00:33:37)
The speaker recounts a spiritual visitation with Koa, feeling a deep connection and peace.

The speaker describes a profound out-of-body experience where they visit Koa at their home in Kalamazoo. Despite knowing their body is in Rosario, they feel a strong, peaceful connection with Koa, marked by silent tears and a heartfelt embrace.
Reflecting on the Experience (00:37:04)
The speaker and their companion reflect on the timing and meaning of the spiritual experience.

Discussing the profound experience, the companion remarks on witnessing the speaker's tears during the session, affirming the realness of the spiritual encounter. They reflect on the timing of their trip and the significance of Koa's presence.
Debating Divine Intervention (00:42:02)
A morning walk leads to a philosophical debate about divine involvement in life's details.

On a morning walk, the speaker and their companion engage in a playful debate about whether a higher power is involved in the minute details of life, sparked by a dinnertime conversation about support from educators after Koa's passing.
A Dog Named Petal Luga (00:47:00)
A stray dog, appearing during the morning walk, becomes a symbol of divine intervention and connection.

During the philosophical walk, a pit bull appears and pushes between the couple, seeming to answer their debate. Later, they learn of the passing of a relative, linking the dog's appearance to a significant event, leading them to name the dog Petal Luga.
Adopting Luga (00:51:00)
The couple decides to adopt the dog, known as Luga, after a period of consideration and emotional reflection.

Initially hesitant, the speaker agrees to adopt the dog after a period of reflection and crisis therapy sessions, recognizing the dog as a gift and new presence in their healing journey.
The Gift of Luga (00:54:00)
Luga becomes a cherished family member, offering opportunities for healing and growth.

The speaker describes how Luga, the adopted dog, has become an invaluable presence in their lives, providing opportunities to heal and learn new ways of being present, akin to a second chance.
Troublemakers and KOA's Origin (00:57:41)
Discussion about practices, games, and the troublemaker duo. Charlie's phrase "KOA is a OK" becomes significant.

The conversation opens with a lighthearted mention of practices, games, and being troublemakers. Charlie coined the phrase "KOA is a OK," which became an emblematic expression for the group, particularly for a school campaign in fifth grade. This phrase later influenced their day of giving.
Day of Giving and Heart Balloons (00:58:06)
The day of giving explained: both receiving support and giving back. Heart balloon game to spread kindness.

The hosts elaborate on their unique day of giving, where they not only seek support but also give back to the community, their grantees, local businesses, and neighbors. A childhood game of giving out 'heart balloons' to spread joy and kindness is recounted, illustrating the spirit of giving and community involvement.
Koa's Spirit and Family Traditions (00:59:12)
Reflecting on Koa's giving nature and how family traditions influenced her. Emphasis on creativity and special moments.

The discussion shifts to Koa's inherent giving nature, influenced by family traditions of making moments special and the importance of creativity. The hosts reflect on how their own DNA and family culture manifested in Koa, who embodied these values deeply.
Koa's Purpose and Legacy (01:00:12)
Koa's impactful but brief life. Encounters and synchronicities suggest a purposeful short life.

The hosts delve into the philosophical belief that Koa was meant to have a short but impactful life. They recount experiences and synchronicities that affirm this belief, emphasizing Koa's role in teaching and giving during her time.
Conclusion and Call to Listen (01:02:07)
The program concludes with gratitude and a call to share and listen to stories, emphasizing their importance.

The episode wraps up with expressions of gratitude from the host, who acknowledges the guests' contributions and the impact of knowing Koa. There is a heartfelt call for viewers to share their own stories and listen to others', reinforcing the theme that all stories matter.